AMICI et al: 2009

If you gave me just a coin for every time we say goodbye

Well I'd be rich beyond my dreams, I'm sorry for my weary life

I know I'm not perfect but I can smile

and I hope that you see this heart behind my tired eyes

---

If you tell me that I can't, I will, I will, I'll try all night

and if I say I'm coming home, I'll probably be out all night

I know I can be afraid but I'm alive

and I hope that you can trust this heart behind my tired eyes

---

I'm no angel, but please don't think that I won't try and try

I'm no angel, but does that mean that I can't live my life

I'm no angel, but please don't think that I can't cry

I'm no angel, but does that mean that I won't fly

---

I know I'm not around each night

and I know I always think I'm right

I can believe that you might look around

---

I'm no angel, but please don't think that I won't try and try

I'm no angel, but does that mean that I can't live my life

I'm no angel, but please don't think that I can't cry

I'm no angel, but does that mean that I won't fly

------------------------------------------------------------------------

DIDO

cf. http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/dido/imnoangel.html

+++++++++++

this, too, could apply, with slight corrections to the content...

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you, Or tell you that.

But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder

Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and destruction to come back again

And I caused nothing but trouble I understand if you can't talk to me again

And if you live by the rules of "it's over" then I'm sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet

Which I'm sure we will

All that was there

Will be there still

I'll let it pass

And hold my tongue

And you will think

That I've moved on....

I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/dido/whiteflag.html

There was this little woman once, who got to meet (fortunatelly? unfortunatelly?) this little man once. and they became friends (or so they thought anyway).

As the time went by, the friends became not-friends (friendships get tested in many ways, but most of all by weaknesses and dark sides of parties involved in them - so they say!!), maybe even enemies?? And went on living their lives, each one of them as they could and knew best.

One day, years later, this little woman, using modern day technologies' approach to things, web-texted one of her new friends (whose name was John) and, by mistake (or, was it really a mistake??), this old friend/not-friend of hers, too, asking him to ring her. He did not. But the old not-friend little man - did. And this what they went on about:

"Good afternoon, ............ here. - This is John. - John? John who? - John Doe. - [silence on her part, apparently she was surprised to hear him] Oohh, John, how are ya? - I am fine, thanks..." and so on they went for a minute or two, he telling her she texted him, she telling him she did not, or better, she did, but a different John, and asking him where he was and how he was, and he telling her where he was not and that he was well, at work etc., reminding her he is on his mobile and his call therefore is not the cheapest one... and bringing up comments she made on her glog site about his former girlfriends and telling her he did not like it all too much... She thought it was a bit strange for this little man to call her up after all that time only just to tell her that, but figured he had his reasons (those reasons he always used to have for everything, those reasons that were far too incomprehensibe to her even in "good old days" times, time ago)... And then she had to go, and so had he, so - it was over. Or so she thought...

"Sorry for being angry but im not impressed that you went visiting or contacting old girl friends of mine messing up any friendship and contact i may have had with them. Your conduct showed me a lot. Any way this is not from blue eyes but John Doe"

"U didnt sound angry so no need 4 apologizing. I didnt visit anyone, and wouldnt know what u mean by contacting. if i had though,and u got to know about it,it was actually good,as u got to hear from them,right? as 4 the web,i took the xx's picture off but didnt see anything else i could/should get rid of. their names are staying, as they are part of my life, and the blog is exactly about that. sorry if u think differently. as for my conduct, that, too, is how/who i am so, after all, and as u just wrote, it showed both u and me a lot. maybe thats the purpose of bad experiences - that one can learn even from those. stay well and thanks 4 calling".

"No your not sorry and you would not know xx if i had not known her and no i am not to keep any contact with her. Then there is some blog site describing her eye colour and how she had more sense than you for ending it with me. What right did you have involve yourself in others lives? You have most folk convinved that you really nice etc but we both know who you are underneath"

"What's your problem? U just fell 4 a wrong woman (i mean me) but so what? U r not the first 1, so get a grip and move on. Thanks 4 your opinion on me not being sorry & on a blog, i'd still go 4 what i said & wrote, with your permission (or without). Xx didnt bother, why should u? U do sound upset now, is it b/e u need to talk & tel me how horrible i am? Let's meet and do it/ If not just let me live my under-cover, 2faced life & be happy u r not like me, John. This is getting too expensive, so bye".

"My problem is you started contacting my old girlfriend how else woudl know what she did and her eye colour which makes you a bit of a syco and you should not be deluded that your not nuts"

"John, thanks 4 letting your true "feelings" 4 me out finally, I appreciate your honesty & concern but would remind u that im freeto be as psycho & as nuts as i will & u can do very little/nothing about that im affraid. Maybe im just attracted to women, too :-) Sorry 4 sounding so malicious but hey, i had a great teacher! It was u who said there is no love of enemy but only "eye 4 eye, tooth 4 tooth", so welcome to your world, my enemy! :-) U know what? U should like me like never before as there is no xtianity b-s b/w us now, im just as "good" as u r... Wow!! P.S. I still dont quite get it. Do u or do u not care about me. Coz if u do, u could show it differently, & if u dont, dont go around internet looking 4 my sites. U wouldnt have any problem w/ me writing about your ex's eye colour and me being nuts :-) THANXX"

"No i dont care unless you start medaling im my life or my past. As for eye for an eye thats old testament so jewish based you shoudl know that. So the truth comes out you were looking for some kind of get back at me well dont blame me for your own actions you decided to contact other as for seeing the blog i was not looking for you but i noticed you also wrote about xy and we know you visited when we were not there how nuts is that? Very sad"

"I still dont get what YOUR problem si. If I am nuts that surely is my problem not yours & what i do is a bit out of your reach/influence. Tried to ring u, u didnt want to talk, i wonder why. Anyway, feel free to judge me if u will but please dont pass your judgements on to me anymore, we'd go round in circles & its tiring & expensive, not to say sad. Thanks. P.S.: old testament, new testament, its all part of non-sensical judeo-xtian b-s to u. But thanx 4 correcting me, u were always good at that :-) P.S.2: let XY & XX fight their fights, they r big girls i think..."

"I wrote a lot but deleted it, you are not what others think you are good luck with the wanting husband and kids you my need it ;-)"

"Thanx 4 wishes, husband sounds good (it wouldnt b fair to leave this world having known just 1 man), so do the kids ("survival of the fittest" or so :-) & thanx 4 your "compliment", I indeed am not what/who pple think I am. I am full of surprises, am I? U, too, stay well & and good luck xx P.S. "America is angry. It's b/e America is hurting". U should have sent what u've writen. And, John, as it happened that we communicated today after a hile, & we wont 4 a while, I may well wish u an early HAPPY BIRTHDAY. U were 31 when u met me, it might b an opportunity now 4 u to forget all about it & move on to live your 36th etc better. It's been not even 2 months u spent w/ me, it cannot b hard to forget. All the best :-)"

The following day (day # 2) they exchanged more texts:

"Sorry to say you didnt have any of the effect you hoped you would have had if you only knew what was really going off during all that time. People are just laughing at you they always were if they even noticed you its all very sad and pathetic im sure you feel revenged but im not the one who will judge"

"Good morning to u too, though i really could think of a more exciting way of starting up my day. Thanx 4 an update on what pple (nice generalization) think of me (it's really easy to write, bt i'd much appreciate if u could say it instead of just writing it - u probably r much better at hurting pple "virtually", is that why u didnt pick up the phone when i rang?), bt, PLEASE, i asked u to refrain from it, i've had enough of your judgements & of going around in circles, THANX! U spend a bit too much energy & resources on s-one as unsignificant, twisted & pathetic as me, so WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, like really?"

":-) :-) :-)!"

";-) good, have a great one too x x"

---------

And so the circles seem to be running and running and running around (until when??) and dogs and cats keep on being friendly enemies, or unfriendly friends, and a little man will go on thinking he's the one who has been treated injustly by his little woman twisted friend (oh, sorry - not-friend, enemy, ... you choose!)

And - this is what a human life is all about - little men and little women, all fighting for being heard and respected for who they truly are... And the circle is truly vicious, as - who will be the one to start treating the other one in a human, civilized way in a "love of enemy" sort of way?? Everyone is trying (who wouldn't think that these two existences did not try their best??) And yet - there is no positive outcome... Only just more delusion, sarcastic smile and - hopelesness?? Well, I'll leave that to each one of you to judge. After all, life, though cruel and unjust, is also full of surprises and unexpected twists. And men, as little and poor (pathetic) as they may be, are also those who play the game (or the PLAY??) called life and - that is (is it??) our HOPE.

"That which does not kill you, makes you stronger"
"No pain, no gain"
"The dearest things cost the most"

and, fortunately -
"This, too, shall pass"

Stay well :-) I will, too, I promise!!
And, my dear little man, do not worry. Just understand that there are things that are far too big to be controlled by you, such as - - - another person's liberty - - - and it is just about all right.

KARMA...

PS1-

On a third day (day # 3) she wanted to apologize...

"So, "blue eyes", hipe u've got over that blog business by now u r enjoying B-H weekend. Sorry 4 having been a bit over the top, it's just that there's no reaction w/o a cause and physics does apply even to me, though not only in a material way. Have a good 1 & b good, examples do inspire big time. Ciao"

And/BUT - on a fifth day (5 days after it started, and after the course it's taken [meaning not a nicest one - mixture of accusations and strong words, "proving" disinvolvement and disinterest of a little man, and showing increasing defensiveness and frustration of a little woman]), exchange of opinions between a little man and a little woman - surprisinlgy!!! - went on (NOT making anything better, on a contrary, deepening the already deep enough gap between them and harming them both even more, putting in light their dark[er/est] sides):

"I think u miss understand the :-) :-) :-) was not meant as being pleasent with you no one here is interested if you were dead or alive as long as you dont interfear in our lifes you are just very badly thought of by all and seen as a problemed person who needs help so we dont want to know you, so bye".

"You again? I think u misunderstood me being sarcastic. I also think it would be nice if u just stopped using a "we" pronoun when u are writing, it gives impression u r afraid to speak 4 yourself (if there truly are more of those who think the way u do, why don't u put their names down or let them talk 4 themselves? Or is it only cowards that u started to befriend lately??).

I also think u could stop hasseling me and offending me, it only shows u care (u know what they say - "not hatred but indifference is the opposite of love") and u were quite good at that for the last year or so, so, PLEASE, don't spoil it now, if u do care, hide it better, if u don't, don't txt me, right? (It actually surprises me, as u were good on not giving a rat's ars and keeping nice, cosey and silent - when it suited u, obviously - so, what happened? Why do u talk to me at all??

That, surely, could apply to me, too, as I keep replying also. BUT there might be one slight difference there - it is I never said I did not care... Also, Stephen, Rogerson, only person who is interfearing here is u - I managed to not talk to u 4 some time, then u happen to ring me and talk about things that r NONE of upir business, so - who is interfearing??

2 more things - in a civilized world, "problemed" and sick people need help and r actually not accountable 4 their sick actions (to an extend, obviously), so u are either a really anti-social type of man or just blabbing things about me being twisted to - hurt me?? (i'd opt 4 the first one anyway). Second thing is - there is no more things writen about your ex girl-fiends anymore, nothing but their names stay, as, unfortunately, having had u in my life means having to have them both in it, too. I wish I did not know your sweet little french girl who did not have a problem letting go of you (unlike me, fool as i was), and i wish I did not have to get to meet your other sweet big ginger friend who floats somewhere between the black and white on a scale of grey anyway. Hope they r both doing well... And - THIS MIGHT BE IT (4 now :-)) Have a good one and - please, forgive me my wicked tone, u know, not everyone can b as good as u r. So - SORRY!"

PS2 - and - all keeps going ROUND IN CIRCLES, round and round, in circles and in circles... of many words said, and few words "lived out"... on a stage called "life"...

I give up on trying to understand...

AMICI et al

Blog Archive

About Me

Friday, May 29, 2009

ROMA - vecchia amica e vecchi AmiCi CaRi

"i AM no ANgeL"

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

requiem for StEpHeN R. - the end of dogs and cats...

Friday, May 22, 2009

of dOgS aNd CaTS, oF rUnNiNg ArOuNd in CiRcLes, or a story of a little man who was worrying about a little woman's state of mind...